Funny Headlines, Allegedly Real

War Dims Hope For Peace
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Bush Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Croupiers On Strike - Management: "No Big Deal"
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day - Let's Resolve to Do Better
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar